More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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