you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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