smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
