There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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