Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
