She announced her abortion via fbk
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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