do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
