Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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