I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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