who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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