I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
