i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
