wanna go halves on a baby?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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