it was like eating out sand paper
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
