In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I checked into jail on foursquare
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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