Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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