we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
