Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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