I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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