Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
