We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
that is very illegal...i love you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
