nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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