i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
