my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
