DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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