I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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