He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
