i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
