God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
