My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
