her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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