I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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