it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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