you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
