you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
