So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
