The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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