Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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