Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
