I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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