I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
