I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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