Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
