you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
