There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
