Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
