butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
