Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
