I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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