Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Randomize
