I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
