Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
