He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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